You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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