real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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