Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
