you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
