Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
