Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
