we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize