I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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