i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
