What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
