pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
