I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
