I wish I could teleport
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize