I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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