ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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