trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
