Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
