i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
