hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
