do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're like the curious george of whores
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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