just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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