i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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