I wish I could teleport
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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