the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
