I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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