You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
