I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
