just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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