We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
