I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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