Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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