Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sext me about skeletons
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
