You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize