Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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