I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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