Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
