Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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