i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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