i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
