my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
