Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize