Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
