I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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