Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
