my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
