maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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