Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
