When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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