I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
