why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
