Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize