She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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