Your tits are I can't wait for
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
