Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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