Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
