you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
bring money and cleavage
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
