We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize