Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
