when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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