well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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