is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize