So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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