I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
