I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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