in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
