You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
