this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
