That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
