You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
