my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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