let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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