what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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