I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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