Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
