i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this boner is exhausting
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
