If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish you could order shots online.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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