Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
